How I’m fighting my critical inner resistance, one day at a time

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There is a buzz in my brain. A hum. Like, when you go to a hotel room that has a kitchenette in it, and the low sound of the refrigerator keeps you up all night until your boyfriend sits bolt upright in bed and maniacally rips the plug out the wall? You know, like that.

The hum is restless anxiety of ‘needing to get stuff done’. It’s similar to that nagging sensation when you feel like you forgot something, but you’re not sure exactly what.

When I listen closely and intently, the hum starts to have a needling voice that…


And here are 3 things to say and do instead.

Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

People love the underdog. I mean, look at Harry Potter. The kid had a tragic upbringing, entered school with zero experience of wizarding, and made a total idiot out of himself constantly during his first year at Hogwarts. But we all know he smashed it in the end, and we loved him for it (and look, if this is a spoiler for you, deal with it.)

The problem is, the underdog doesn’t always win. …


A quick flick of the gaze can help build positive mental habits

The chocolatey snack in question. Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Please tell me I’m not the only one that does this:

It’s mid-afternoon. I am hungry. I go into the cupboard. I am looking for a cheeky little snacklet that will give me some pep to get through the next 4 hours.

There is nothing. I am sad.

One hour later, my partner comes into the study where I’m working and is eating a chocolate Tunnock’s teacake (image above, if you’re not familiar with this snack. It is a gloriously squishy, chocolate-covered marshmallow joy bomb).

“Where did you get that?!” I demand, enviously.

“They’re in the cupboard. On the second…


Cutting down or giving up on booze doesn’t have to be boring — quite the opposite

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Back in 2019, when the world was normal, I did a 30 day stint without booze. I went back to drinking for a while, but as of writing this article, I have one year of sobriety under my belt.

Things I have done since cutting out alcohol (either in that first 30 day period, or since giving up long term):

  • Hen party dancing till 3am in a North London club
  • Garden parties chatting around the fire until late
  • House party at ours where everyone ended up doing shots out of random kitchen appliances (mine were just alcohol-free spirits)
  • Work drinks


Preserve your well-being, avoid burnout, and eat a cake

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I’m a product director at a corporate financial tech company. Which means I bloody love a TLA (three-letter acronym). Yes, I know the fact that I wrote an acronym about an acronym is lame. I am lame.

One concept that’s thrown around regularly is the MVP, or minimum viable product. The term originates from The Lean Startup by Eric Ries, who describes an MVP as “[the] version of a new product which allows a team to collect the maximum amount of validated learning about customers with the least effort.”

The whole point of an MVP is to get something very…


Applying research findings from Ethan Kross’ new book ‘Chatter’ to tackle that sneaky habit of negative thinking

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I recently wrote about my inner critic and creating a dialogue with it. What I didn’t know — at least not until reading Ethan Kross’ new book, ‘Chatter’ — is that this inner critical voice is a form of ‘mental chatter’, and my dialogue with it is an example of ‘distanced thinking’.

Distanced thinking, it turns out, is an absolute superpower that you can use to harness your inner monologue to work for you — and can have a huge impact on your…


Sitting still and clearing your mind isn’t just for zen masters — ambitious, alpha go-getters can benefit from a mindfulness practice too

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Headspace, Calm, Gaba — you name a Meditation app and I’ve tried it. Mainly because I love self-improvement and technology, and the promise of betterment and becoming super zen sounds, well, promising.

However, there are two key things about my personality (and maybe yours too, if you’re reading this) that previously prevented me from sticking to any kind of mindfulness practice until I developed my own system:

  1. I am a notoriously ambitious, action-driven person. My frankly impossible 30…


Hint: Your inner critic just wants to help you (but is kind of an ass about it)

Inner negative chatter: the struggle is REAL.

I’ve always known (and heard from others) that I’m hard on myself. I have high expectations of what I should achieve, and when I don’t meet that level of quality for myself, I tend to beat myself up. I often end up worrying and ruminating about what others might say, or what others think of me. I’m scared of doing certain things of my life (including publishing this article!) because of all this.

Sound familiar? This…


Giving up booze doesn’t have to be dramatic — but it helps if it’s at least memorable

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Lettuce, patty, bun, fries — strewn all over the floor of Kuala Lumpur Airport. Travellers wheeling suitcases looked on in confusion and curiosity at the sight: a (now-deconstructed) Burger King meal, clearly thrown in anger; a drunk white girl, sitting in a crumpled heap (clearly the culprit of the crime); beside her, a patient but visibly embarrassed boyfriend standing quietly, desperately wishing for our gate for our flight back to London to be called.

That was the last day I touched alcohol.

Look…

Rebecca Pendleton

Product Director | Psychotherapy Student | Aspiring Writer / Designer / Coach. Sober but not preachy. I love self development, service design & stationery.

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